I've been focusing on my body for 8 months now. It's a horrific feeling to wake up every day and still feel so....large. I weigh myself atleast 3 times a day, hoping that my dieting is working. And by the end of the day, I'm exhausted, depressed, and my sweet tooth is crazy-outa-control. I've done well with not cheating too much...but I have yet to master 2 full weeks of my diet. And if I could do that, I could start adding in a few things like fruit and such...but the 2 weeks of eggs and meat...that's hard one for me.

BUT, I'm down some. I believe it was at Thanksgiving that I weighed in at 164 (!!!!). Today, I weighed in at 148. So that's not so bad. I mean, compared to the 164. So I have lost some...but like I said, it's hard. My goal was to be a size 10 by Christmas and a size 6 by April. It's February and even though I've lost some, I've barely budged in size. How is that possible? I bet if I went shopping, I could fit into a 12...maybe. But, I'm trying and I will continue to try.

I showed Jay how...not attractive I am this morning. He told me to stop showing him because he'll start noticing it. So I'm going to try to stop.

Other news....................

Brody is still in school. He is doing fantastic, but I do get nervous with him being there sometimes. Last week, a kid I hadn't met before was a little mean to him right in front of me. Made me cry and it made Brody cry. But, he's doing well. He's reading a little and he talks--amazing stuff comes out of his mouth.

Bella has an ear infection. She's been screaming and not sleeping and all that. We took her to the ER on Sunday for it and she's doing better now, with the antibiotics. In the midst of it, I gave her back her paci that she's been without for almost 3 months. She loves it. And she slept from 8-7:30 this morning! She hasn't slept through the night since we took her paci away. So Jay and I are kinda thinking we're letting her have it for a while.... :( :( But, anyway...she talks a lot, sings amazing little songs with us, and calls her daddy-------------------------------Jay. He's not so happy about that one.

Josephine is crawling EVERYWHERE. She's working on figuring out the standing thing...but she's not there yet, thank God. She's a cutie pie, though. I guess every parent says that about their kid, but I really think she's adorable. She looks so much like Jay!!! She's going to be a big girl, we think. She's almost the same size as Bella!!!

Jay is thinking he's getting a new job soon. That will be VERY awesome. I'm already thinking of everything we can buy with the money! :) I can get lipo and a tummy tuck...maybe a new...chest :) while they are in there. I'd love to have a new body and not have to work for it! I'm also thinking of a new car, a new house, new clothes for the kids, new toys for the kids...the list goes on. :) So here's to hoping!